0 “What's the daftest work-related question you have ever been asked?”

Over the years we have been "getting personal" with many of the top lads and lasses in the turfcare industry as part of our feature articles, asking them a range of personal questions about themselves and their lifestyles.

One of our favourite questions is "What's the daftest work-related question you have ever been asked?". So, our editorial team have put together their top 20 favourite answers of all time. Here they are:

  • The other day, whilst cutting the grass at the training ground, a youth player asked, "What does that machine do?"
  • When initially marking out a pitch, I was asked which was the correct measurement for the penalty spot; 36 feet or 12 yards? I tried to explain that both were the same but the guy was having none of it.
  • Is the sight screen there to stop the sun going in to your eyes?
  • Not a question, as such, but a comment: An apprentice who did work for us cut a fairway left to right instead of right to left - it happens - though his reasoning made our day let alone that year. "Sorry for that, I got my hands mixed up. I thought my right was my left and my left was my right, then I remembered what hand I wrote with and, by then, it was too late." Some things you just can't make up.
  • Morning of a county championship match in April, the coach comes out, bends down and puts his hands on the pitch and looks to us; "It's cold isn't it; how come it's so cold?" My boss at the time replied brilliantly; "you'd be effing cold if you'd been left out all night!".
  • Can I have some dark and light grass seed to make my grass look like the stripes on your pitch?
  • Can we use this big bucket of sawdust to stub out cigarettes? Of course, I said yes and waited to see how long it was until it started smoking.
  • The playing surface at Cambridge United was covered in frost and a director asked if it would be worth putting the floodlights on to warm the pitch up.
  • "It's taken me twenty minutes to dig my car out from the snow and ice and when I get here the course is closed. Why?"
  • Have you painted that green? Or the usual; how do you get the stripes like that?
  • What time does the one o'clock game start?
  • When I said a patient (in an NHS hospital) had "gone to a better place", the enquirer replied "where, the Nuffield (private hospital)?
  • Why can't you put boiling water through the irrigation system to act as underground heating?
  • Does the sun always rise there?
  • Why don't you mix cement with your woodchip to keep it on the paths!
  • Do you work match days and what do you do in the summer when the team is off?
  • Do you put sand on the greens just to annoy us golfers?
  • Why are the greens slower uphill into the wind?
  • While we were turfing, we were asked "can you lay a carpet in my lounge please?"
  • Someone pointing to a first xi cricket square in October asked "can I warm up on there?"

So, there are our top 20 favourite answers. If you've ever been asked a daft question, let us know below in our comments section!

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Contact Kerry Haywood

07973 394037

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