Everyday life is hard; Break the silence

Luigi Munday has been an active speaker for Samaritans for five years. We spoke to him about his experience and how the organisation can help you.

Luigi started by outlining what the Samaritans want to achieve: "We are a service for anyone who is struggling to cope - a lot of these are people suffering from mental health challenges. Big or small, our service is there for all people with (mental health) emotional problems."

He expanded: "The Samaritan's mission statement is to reduce the number of suicides. We are listeners and that is what is important. We allow people to speak freely and the key is to let them talk to us. We don't make promises, but allow them to talk and hear themselves speak. We prompt people to find a route to their problems."

"We are non-judgmental and that is what is important. If someone says 'I am in a dark place, or I am thinking about taking my own life', we would never say 'Don't be silly' because nothing is silly and sometimes people need to get that sentence out. I can't tell you how many times people say, 'You're the first person that has ever listened to me.' It is so powerful; listening and talking is crucial."

Luigi also clarified the difference between being an active listener and just listening: "When I'm listening to people, they have loads of friends and people who have their back, but often those same people might not just sit and listen to the problems. Listening and actively listening are two completely different things. People call us to talk and we need to sit back and listen. That's why we are here. When you are on a call with The Samaritans, or any supportive organisation for that matter, there are four ears listening in to the conversation. The things being said may be the first time that the individual themselves has heard that.

Can you explain more about mental health and how it builds up to an explosive point?

"Mental health is like a snowball, often it starts small and then builds up and up. Our plan is to try and stop people from going to the next stage. We are not a service for just those who want to take their own life. We are a service for anyone who is suffering from mental health. Big or small, our service is there for ALL people in need of emotional support."

"If you're working for a club and something goes wrong, such as waterlogging or damage to the turf, these are the worries that you might not think affect someone's mental health. However, it is the build-up of these situations which affects mental wellbeing the most. Normally, it is years of build-up for someone to get to the suicidal stage. So, we need to focus on catching it early and trying to help in the early stages."

Luigi went on to speak about the need for education about mental health, starting at the very top of the ladder: "Something useful would be an education and understanding of mental health in senior positions. It is about changing people's perspectives to always remember that it isn't just what is in front of you. If you have five people working on a pitch, every single one of them needs to be important. As soon as you point the finger at one of them, that is when they will deteriorate and be affected. Self-erosion is often caused by someone pointing the finger."

"Let's say you have an aggressive boss for example - if you are working for that person and you are feeling depressed, it is very unlikely that you will feel comfortable. However, if you have a boss who has been educated and knows about mental health, who naturally has a calm approach, then you would feel more comfortable going and talking to them about your mental wellbeing. An environment needs to be created where everyone feels comfortable."

Contact day or night

Whatever you're going through, you can call Samaritans any time, from any phone for FREE: 116 123

Sometimes writing down your thoughts and feelings can help you understand them better: jo@samaritans.org