Negotiation techniques… ...you’re already a natural
Phil Helmn explores negotiation techniques and reveals how diverse styles influence our interactions. As well as fresh perspectives on refining your personal style and developing winning strategies.
H is insights empower you to turn negotiations into opportunities, enabling you to confidently achieve successful outcomes that not only seal deals, but also forge lasting partnerships built on trust and mutual success.
In the intricate fabric of daily interactions, negotiation skills subtly weave their way through your everyday, often unnoticed. Though commonly associated with high-stakes business deals or diplomatic negotiations, the principles of negotiation are inherently present in most of our decisions and discussions that shape everyday life. Many individuals unknowingly employ negotiation skills in their personal, social and professional life. Whether it’s deciding on household chores, agreeing on social plans or managing workplace responsibilities, each negotiation fosters important skills such as effective communication, empathy and strategic thinking. For instance, negotiating household tasks ensures a fair division of labour, while workplace negotiations promote productivity and teamwork.
The distinctive styles of negotiation
We all accept, everyone has different communication styles. Individuals bring their own set of experiences, skills and tools that affect the way they interact with others, both at home and in the workplace. Individual communication styles also translate into how they negotiate. From these natural patterns of communication, five distinct negotiation styles appear:
- Competing
- Collaborating
- Compromising
- Accommodating
- Avoiding
Each of the five styles usually uses a different combination of assertiveness and cooperativeness, creating different scenarios of “I win, and you lose,” or a “I win, and you win” and so on, (see figure 1 below).
Fig. 1. Negotiation Model (Kenneth Thomas - Ralph Kilmann 1975)
Competitive style (I win at all costs)
Competitive negotiators tend to do whatever it takes to reach their desired agreement, even when it comes at the expense of another person or entity. They are focused on achieving short-term goals quickly.
Collaborative style (I win, you win)
This style values strengthening, setting up and building relationships. Individuals are willing to invest time in finding solutions and building valued partnerships. A collaborative negotiation style is effective in most negotiations.
Compromising style (Split the difference)
This style can be sometimes confused with collaborative. Unlike the “win-win” style, where each party concedes part to gain another part, the compromise negotiation focuses on splitting all parts of the negotiation equally.
Avoiding style (I lose, you lose)
People who identify with this style dislike conflict and tend to talk in vague terms. If an agreement is reached and they dislike the outcome, they undermine the result before the other party even knows that they were unhappy.
Accommodating style (I lose, you win)
Accommodating is the direct opposite of competitive. Accommodators try to win people over by giving in to their requests and tend to share more information than they should.
Avoiding negotiating pitfalls
Investing time and effort prior to any negotiation situation yields significant benefits. It enhances understanding of both parties’ needs, strengthens one’s position, builds confidence and allows for strategic planning. This preparation leads to more effective communication, better solutions and more successful and mutually beneficial outcomes in the negotiation process. In the intricate dance of negotiation, avoiding common pitfalls is key to achieving favourable and lasting outcomes:
-
Unclear communication
Misunderstandings, ambiguous statements can derail the negotiation process. Clear and assertive communication is crucial for articulating one’s own needs and interests without being aggressive or confrontational. -
Being afraid to offend
You may fear rejecting other people’s proposals or find it embarrassing or stressful. Unlike an argument, negotiation is a conversation aimed at reaching an agreement. It’s just part of the process! -
Not listening
If you talk over or ignore what is being said, it will make it harder to agree. -
A rigid approach
Being too rigid in one’s demands or unwilling to consider alternatives can lead to deadlock and missed opportunities. -
Caring too much
You need to care about the outcome, but not so much that you make an unwise decision because you feel unable to walk away. Keep your emotions in check and decide when to call it a day.
Fig. 2. “B. A. T. N. A.” (Roger Fisher and William Ury 1987)
Not Knowing Your “B.A.T.N.A.”
The term “B.A.T.N.A.” (Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement) relies on knowing the ‘zone’ of negotiation, and even though your aim in negotiation is to get what you want, you need to decide when it’s best to cut your losses and walk away. Having a clear B.A.T.N.A. means you can push harder during negotiations and get a better deal than you expected (see figure 2 above).
The negotiation lifecycle
Understanding the negotiation lifecycle provides significant benefits. It allows individuals to approach negotiations systematically, ensuring thorough preparation, strategic execution and effective resolution. By recognising each stage, negotiators can predict challenges and adapt their strategies accordingly, (see figure 3).
- Preparation
- Discussion
- Bargaining
- Finalise
- Follow up
Preparation
By gathering relevant information and predicting potential challenges, negotiators can confidently address issues and propose practical solutions. Ultimately, preparation fosters confidence, reduces uncertainties and increases the likelihood of reaching a mutually beneficial agreement. Key points:
- Identify the issue
- Define your B.A.T.N.A
- Decide your style
Discussion
During this phase, parties exchange information, clarify their needs and explore potential solutions. By engaging in open and respectful dialogue, negotiators can collaboratively develop strategies that address the concerns of all parties. Key points:
- Understand the other parties B.A.T.N.A
- Build relationships and trust
- Be clear and concise in your communication
Bargaining
This phase tests negotiation skills, including persuasion, strategic thinking and compromise. Ultimately, successful bargaining leads to outcomes that are satisfactory for all involved, enhancing the potential for sustained cooperation and long-term relationships.
- Stick to your ‘plan’ (remember your B.A.T.N.A.)
- Generate alternatives
- Try not to win. Encourage give-and-take
Finalising
This phase solidifies commitments and formalises the negotiated terms, fostering accountability. Proper finalisation includes documenting the agreement in writing, which serves as a reference and legal safeguard. It also provides an opportunity to review and confirm details, ensuring alignment and satisfaction.
- Double check agreement and get it in writing
- Create an action plan and timeline for outcomes
- Congratulate the other party (never gloat)
Fig. 3. The negotiation lifecycle (William Robinson and Slav Volkov 1998)
Follow up
Following up on previously agreed negotiated terms and conditions is essential for ensuring compliance and maintaining trust between parties. Regular follow-ups reinforce accountability, demonstrate professionalism and help build long-term relationships.
- Continue to nurture the other party
- Monitor progress
- Review and reflect (jointly) to reduce future negativity
Good space
In the realm of negotiation, the environment in which discussions take place plays a pivotal role in deciding the success of the outcome. While the skills and strategies of the negotiators are undoubtedly crucial, the physical and psychological space can significantly influence the dynamics of the negotiation process.
Therefore, the importance of a good space for negotiations cannot be overstated. By carefully considering factors such as physical comfort, privacy, neutrality and technological support, one can create a space that fosters trust, effective communication and collaboration.
Privacy and confidentiality
Negotiations often involve sensitive information and confidential discussions. A private space ensures that conversations stay secure and that parties can speak freely without fear of being overheard. This sense of privacy fosters openness and honesty, allowing negotiators to share their true interests and concerns.
Neutrality of the setting
The setting of the negotiation should be neutral and free from any partisan influences. Neutral environments prevent any party from feeling disadvantaged or dominated by the host. A neutral setting helps support focus on the issues at hand and promotes a balanced power dynamic among the parties.
Psychological safety
Psychological safety means that individuals feel respected, valued and free to express their thoughts without fear of judgment or retribution. This can be fostered by setting up ground rules for respectful communication and ensuring that all voices are heard.
Third party support
Having a neutral mediator present can enhance the negotiation process. A neutral party can help manage the flow of conversation, ensure that all sides have an opportunity to speak and help in resolving any conflicts that may arise.
Cultural sensitivity
In a globalised world, negotiations often involve parties from diverse cultural backgrounds. A good negotiation space should consider seating arrangements, hospitality practices and communication styles.
Creating strategic calm
One of the key challenges in negotiation is managing our emotions. Emotions, when left unchecked, can cloud judgment, escalate conflicts and hinder the achievement of mutually beneficial agreements.
Emotional outbursts or erratic behaviour can undermine and create an atmosphere of suspicion and hostility, while a composed and rational demeanour shows professionalism and reliability. This fosters a positive negotiation climate, where parties feel respected and valued, leading to more sustainable and satisfactory agreements. Effective negotiation requires a blend of strategy, communication and psychological insight.
Top ten secrets for successful negotiating:
- Don’t be afraid to ask for what you want
- Listen
- Do your homework
- Be willing to walk away
- Don’t be in a hurry
- Aim high
- Focus on the other side’s pressure, not yours
- Show the other person how their needs will be met
- Don’t give anything away without getting something in return
- Don’t take the issues or the other person’s behaviour personally