Andy Thompson - welcome to his world, won't you come on in ...
Who are you? Andy Thompson, Head Groundsman at Sheffield Wednesday Football Club.
Family status? I've got a partner, a pug and a French bulldog.
Who's your hero and why? My dad, because of his work ethic.
What would you change about yourself? I'd have smaller teeth and get my hair back.
What's your guilty pleasure? Crying when people sing on talent shows.
What's been the highlight of your career so far? Becoming head groundsman at a young age… or maybe being made HG here, because they're on the cusp of the Premier League.
What are your pet peeves? I have three rules: don't lie; don't be late; don't have your hands in your pockets. If they have, I get rid of them. That's why I have no staff.
If you could go anywhere right now, where would it be? I'd go home.
What's the best part of your job? Coming to the stadium early in a morning. I'm calm then, by myself.
… and the worst? I don't like matchdays, because I can't enjoy football in the same way anymore.
Do you have a lifetime ambition? I've always wanted to work in the Premier League. And after that, I can't see myself cutting grass when I'm sixty.
Favourite record, and why? Welcome to My World by Jim Reeves - my dad used to play it a lot.
Who would you choose to spend a romantic evening with? Tom Daley. It used to be Zac Efron, but he's too big now.
If you won the lottery, what is the first thing you would do? Come to work and brag about it.
If you could be anyone for a day, who would it be and why? My assistant, to see how much of a nightmare I am.
Do you have any bad habits? Eating too much. Getting stressed out by little things. Being stroppy about stuff. Being too hard on staff who aren't like me. I swear a lot.
... or any good ones? That's for other people to decide.
Do you go to bed worrying about the next day's workload? Every day. Every night. Every hour, wherever I am, I check the camera feed on my phone.
What are you reading now? Alan Carr's autobiography. And a book on the English Defence League leadership.
What's the best advice you have ever been given? Don't try to please everybody.
What's your favourite smell? I don't like coffee, but I like the smell. And my partner's aftershave.
What do you do in your spare time? Eat. Check the pitch camera. Walk the dogs. Eat. Go to my mum's. And eat.
What three words would you use to describe yourself? Difficult, opinionated, funny.
What talent would you like to have? I want to be able to swim.
What law/legislation would you like to see introduced? I would make it illegal to drink at work.