Getting Personal with David O'Neill

David O'Neill - the loudest dinner party ever! Mind your p's and q's

Who are you? David O'Neill, volunteer groundsman at Portchester Cricket Club.

Family status? Married to Rose, with two children - William (4) and Joseph (2).

Who's your hero and why? Jimi Hendrix. He's the greatest guitarist of all time.

What would you change about yourself? I would change my ears to those of a normal person.

What's your guilty pleasure? Beer - can I say that? If not, expensive cuts of meat.

What's been the highlight of your career so far? Does this mean working on the pitch or working in pensions (my actual career). Working on the pitch - watching our batsman wrack up over 300 on a really good pitch we'd produced.

What are your pet peeves? Not saying please and thank you.

If you could go anywhere right now, where would it be? Krabi, Thailand.

What's the best part of your job? Pitch work - producing a good pitch that produces a good game of cricket.

… and the worst? People not acknowledging the time and effort that goes into producing a pitch.

Do you have a lifetime ambition? I'd like to be a single figure golfer one day.

Favourite record, and why? Electric Ladyland - Hendrix. Best song - Voodoo Child (the epic blues version).

If you won the lottery, what is the first thing you would do? I'd make sure all my family were provided for.

If you were to describe yourself as a musical instrument, what would you be and why? Clarinet, long and thin.

Which three people, living or dead, would you invite to a dinner party? Jimi Hendrix, Kurt Cobain and Thom Yorke.

If you could be anyone for a day, who would it be and why? Jimi Hendrix, just so I could experience playing the guitar the way he did.

Do you have any bad habits? Certainly not.

... or any good ones? Probably not.

Do you go to bed worrying about the next day's workload? No.

What are you reading at the moment - hard copy or online? The Great Gatsby; hard copy.

What's the best advice you have ever been given? Keep your eye on the ball.

What's your favourite smell? Petrol.

What do you do in your spare time? I don't have much of this due to having a young family. The few hours I get, I play golf and the odd game of cricket.

What's the daftest work-related question you have ever been asked? Did dinosaurs really exist - an educated adult asked me this.

What's your favourite piece of kit? Ransomes Autocertes - such a reliable machine.

What three words would you use to describe yourself? Reliable, committed, tired.

What talent would you like to have? Either a) play golf like a pro, b) bat like a pro, or c) play the guitar like a pro.

What law/legislation would you like to see introduced? Political. I'll steer clear of Brexit. Perhaps a severe penalty for dog owners who can't be bothered to pick up the poo?