Norman Robertson - he wouldn't let you off lightly if he was a judge!
Who are you? Norman John Robertson - Volunteer Groundsman at Clackmannan County Cricket Club.
Family status? Husband, father to two daughters, with two grandsons and two grand-daughters.
Who is your hero and why? My grandfather - a train driver who was always proud to be with me.
What has been the highlight of your grounds career so far? Very happy to get praise and thanks for what I do. That is what it is all about!
If your younger self saw you now, what would he think? I would hope he was quite happy to be like me when he was older.
Which famous people wind you up? Jeremy Corbyn, but he could not be called famous. A complete nonentity.
What job would you love, other than your own? A judge. No short sentences from me.
What was the most embarrassing moment in your life? Getting a rope caught in the Dennis FT610 blade and damaging a bearing. I do things a different way now.
What is your favourite film? Brief Encounter.
What scares you? HMRC.
What would your autobiography be called… and who would play you in the film? Tales of a Grass Cutter. Rowan Atkinson.
What is your favourite sport? Golf.
Which historical time and place would you most like to visit? The first man on the moon.
Do you have a lifetime ambition? To be happy.
Which three people, living or dead, would you invite to a dinner party? The BBC weather girls.
What's the best advice you have ever been given? Always treat other road users as complete idiots.
What's your favourite piece of trivia? Where would you find a capuchin?
What's your favourite smell? Twenty-pound notes.
Which three albums would you take to a desert island? Chicago, Four Tops and Donna Summer.
What's the daftest work-related question you have ever been asked? Our opening batsman asked why I was cutting the grass during lockdown.
What's your favourite piece of kit? Dennis FT610 ... it's just excellent.
What three words would you use to describe yourself? Proud, critical and self-motivated.
What is the single most useful thing you could tell a 16-year-old groundsperson/greenkeeper? Take pride in everything you do.
What talent would you like to have? Play my guitar.
What law/legislation would you like to see introduced? Political correction to be abolished.